The Life I Yearn For and Once Desired

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I’ve often found myself reflecting on the meaning of love—real love, not the glossy version we’re sold in stories or films. My divorce changed everything about how I see love, life, and the dreams I once held so close. When I look back, I realize I fell into the trap so many do—the trap of chasing a perfect love, a perfect life, the ideal family setup. It’s this image that’s often sold to us, that we unknowingly inherit, and we live it out until something breaks.

In truth, love is much more than just chemistry or companionship. It isn’t about having everything together, being flawless, or following a checklist. For me, love is something deeper, something far more profound and yet more subtle. It doesn’t control, it doesn’t doubt, it doesn’t hurt. Real love nurtures, and understands, and maybe sometimes it hurts your emotions, but it doesn’t harm your soul. And the life I want—well, that has also become clearer with time.

After my marriage ended, I came to realize that the love I had been living wasn’t the love I wanted or needed. And the life I had built around it was just a shell of what I truly craved. I wanted more, not in the sense of material things, but in the quality of my relationships and my sense of belonging. I longed for a life with someone who sees me—sees me—adores me, respects me, and loves me not just for who I am now, but for the person I am becoming.

A Writer’s Lens on Love

You see, when you look at love through the lens of a writer, everything changes. You begin to see that love is not always what the world tells you it should be. It isn’t about controlling the other person or being controlled. It isn’t about checking boxes or following social norms. Instead, love is a kind of collaboration, a dance between two souls where both can express themselves fully, without fear.

Writers understand this better than most. We craft stories, scenarios, and worlds where love can take many forms—sometimes it’s unexpected, sometimes it’s complicated, and sometimes it’s beautifully simple. A writer shapes situations in a way that can either reflect the reality we live or create a fantasy we aspire to. In either case, there’s always a deeper truth.

Imagine falling in love with someone who approaches life this way, with care and thoughtfulness. Someone who doesn’t rush but lets moments unfold in their own time. A writer understands that the best decisions come when you take the time to think things through, to process, to reflect.

I once read somewhere that love is about letting go, not in the sense of losing, but in allowing the other person to be who they truly are. It’s in this kind of love that I want to build the rest of my life. I don’t want to fall into another trap of pretending or performing for the sake of keeping up appearances. I want the freedom to be vulnerable, to be open, and to be embraced for all that I am—flaws and all.

Love, in this sense, becomes a work of art—a story that is crafted with patience and care.

Life After Divorce

After my divorce, I found myself at a crossroads. The life I had built, the love I thought I had, was gone. It was a painful realization, but also a liberating one. I had the chance to rebuild my life, to redefine what I wanted in love and in life. And what I realized was that I didn’t need the perfect partner, the perfect job, or the perfect life. What I wanted was real love—love that would lift me up, love that would respect me, love that would see me for who I truly am.

I no longer dream of a man who fits the traditional ideals. Instead, I dream of someone who adores me for my imperfections, who respects me and my family, no matter who they are and where they are from or societal status, and who is willing to build a life with me, not based on societal expectations, but based on mutual respect, care, and love. Someone who is as scared to love me as I am to love them, but who, despite the fear, chooses to love me fully and unconditionally. A man who is kind and gentle, who gives me a sense of security, not just financially, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

It’s not just about finding someone to love. It’s about finding someone who will walk this life journey with me—someone who will support my dreams, who will be a partner in the truest sense of the word. I dream of a man who understands that my dreams of being a social worker, a loving mother, a social entrepreneur, and a writer are not just aspirations but are a core part of who I am. A man who will stand by me as I pursue these dreams, and who will be proud of the person I become through my work.

A Conversation About Love

One evening, as I sat alone in my room, sipping tea and staring at the stars, I found myself having an internal dialogue about love.

“Why do people get it so wrong?” I asked myself. “Why do we fall into these traps of societal expectations, thinking that a perfect love, a perfect family, and a perfect life are the only things worth striving for?”

A voice inside me responded, “Because we’re taught that way. We’re told that love looks a certain way, and that it should come in a perfect package. But real love doesn’t fit into neat boxes. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes it takes a lifetime to find.”

“But why do I still hope for it, even after everything?”

“Because hope is part of love’s nature. It’s what keeps us moving forward, believing that even after all the pain, and the heartbreak, there’s something better waiting. And there is. You just have to open your heart again.”

I smiled at the thought. “So, you think I’ll find it?”

The voice softened. “Not just find it—you’ll create it.”

The Role of Career and Success

In today’s world, it seems like so many people are obsessed with their careers, with chasing success, titles, and money. It’s not that those things don’t matter—they do—but for me, after all I’ve been through, my priorities have shifted. I’m no longer chasing a title or a salary. I want a meaningful life.

I dream of becoming a social worker, someone who can give back to the community and help others find hope, just as I’ve been searching for it. I want to be a loving mother, raising children who understand the value of kindness, love, and respect. I want to be a social entrepreneur, creating businesses or initiatives that serve others, not just for profit but for the greater good.

And of course, I want to be a writer. Fiction has always been my escape, my therapy, and my way of making sense of the world. Through my stories, I hope to inspire others to think about love, life, and happiness in new ways.

A Prayer for Love

Every night, I pray to God, asking for a man who will love me in the way I need to be loved. Someone who will respect me, not just as his partner, but as a person with dreams, ambitions, and a history. I pray for a man who will love my family as his own and who will welcome me into his family with open arms.

I pray that this man will help me become the person I’ve always wanted to be—a loving mother, a dedicated social worker, a compassionate entrepreneur, and a successful author. I don’t want a life of luxury or excess. I want a life that feels full, rich in love, and grounded in purpose.

I don’t want to be in a relationship where my ambitions are seen as a threat or where my dreams are dismissed as impractical. I want a man who will see my passion for helping others and for writing as a gift, someone who will see the value in my desire to contribute to the community and his family. Together, I believe we can create a life that is rich in love, purpose, and meaning.

The Life I Want

Looking back, I realize that the life I once wanted was built on illusions—ideas of perfection that were never truly mine. The life I want is simple yet profound. I want a life where love is the foundation of everything I do. I want to wake up each day knowing that I am loved and cherished for who I am, not for what I can do or what I can provide. I want a home filled with warmth, laughter, and understanding. I want to be a mother who raises her children with love and respect, teaching them to be kind and compassionate human beings. I want to be a wife who stands beside her husband, supporting him, loving him, and growing with him as we build a life together.

But more than anything, I want to live authentically. I want to live a life where I am free to pursue my passions without fear of judgment or rejection. I want to be a social worker who makes a real difference in the world, helping others in need. I want to be a writer who creates stories that inspire and move people. And I want to be a mother who nurtures and guides her children with love and wisdom.

The Meaning of Love

In the end, love is not about perfection or fitting into society’s expectations. It’s about finding someone who sees you for who you truly are and loves you unconditionally. It’s about creating a life together that is filled with meaning, purpose, and joy. It’s about growing together, supporting each other’s dreams, and building a home where love is the guiding force.

This is the life I want, and this is the love I dream of. It may not be easy to find, but I have faith that it’s out there. Until then, I will continue to live my life with love, kindness, and a deep sense of purpose, trusting that when the time is right, love will find me.

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