Do you want to know the secret to a happy and successful marriage?
Many people have shared their tips on Happily Ever After a start with communication. Nearly half of respondents say they open up more quickly when discussing complex topics instead of keeping everything bottled up. And another quarter says that being willing to listen carefully is key to maintaining healthy marital boundaries. (Taken their point of view from a blog)
Other popular advice includes:
- Setting clear goals for both spouses (and communicating those goals).
- Nurturing personal relationships outside of the relationship.
- Respecting one another’s differences (even if those differences don’t always mesh with your views).
- Seeking mutual understanding and forgiveness where needed.
So whether you’re newly married or looking for ways to strengthen your existing relationship, these insights might be what you need guidance on reaching your destination smoothly.
Be Together for the Right Reasons
You may think that being together for the right reasons is synonymous with staying married, but this is only sometimes the case. Plenty of couples stay together for the wrong reasons – primarily because they’re afraid to be alone or scared of what their separation might mean.
Instead, it would be best if you committed yourself and your spouse to being there for each other no matter what.
Getting married is a big step that takes a lot of courage and commitment. It’s an exciting, blissful feeling when you get to call someone your partner and live your life with them. But sometimes, it can also be pretty scary because you don’t know whether it will work out. This is why many people feel under pressure to get married because society expects them to.
Always understand that there’s more to love than just finding someone who will always treat you well. So many things go into making a relationship work, such as understanding each other, compromising on things, and caring about each other but loving each other unconditionally. Marriage isn’t always solving your problems; sometimes, it might worsen them! We want you to have a happy life without worrying about anything else but enjoy every moment of being with them in every possible way.
Think twice before agreeing to enter a relationship, especially if you are unsure if it is what you truly want. If someone else pressures you or tells you that the relationship is your only option to make things right, don’t do it. Relationships should be entered into willingly and with both parties comfortable with the situation. You may find happiness and love being around them simply as friends.
Don’t judge by appearances, and don’t settle for the first person who comes along just because they fit your idea of what you want from a partner but take a break from reality long enough to answer these three questions:
Do you like them?
Do you want to spend your life with them?
Would you want to spend your life with them even if it wasn’t perfect?
If yes, then it’s time to get serious about this relationship. Take your time with things! Be happy now and make an effort that will work out in your favor later on.
They say love comes with age, but does it also come with wisdom? After all, we’ve been through relationships, breakups, make-ups, and get-togethers. We’ve seen the lighter sides of romance and experienced every possible emotion to its fullest extent. And now that we live on our terms, we know what it means to be truly happy.
And when you meet someone who genuinely understands you, who makes you laugh out loud and feel like you’ve known him forever—when you meet someone who’s your soulmate, then there’s no room for anything but love. So don’t settle for less—take a chance on the person next to you! If they are special in any way, they deserve your love too!
Example:
I married my husband, so I could have a perfect home to stay in and a partner with whom I could share my feelings about everything. I can stay in a live-in relationship, but I choose to get married, as this is what society allows, and there is nothing wrong if I am getting married bit early. By the way, marriage teaches us how to love someone and adjust our life perfectly.
Another reason was I loved him due to his good and caring behavior initially. I love to be around him all time. I never had any issues until I realized I needed a settled family life. The real conflict starts from that point. As per the time pass, the weightage of a relationship also changes, mainly when it comes to marriage. After a certain period, you need to have kids. Most of the time, real marriage conflicts start while trying to conceive or after conceiving, as many are not ready to take any responsibility in real life. Initially, we are together for the right reason, but sometimes one partner’s realistic expectation seems unrealistic for another, creating conflicts after a certain period. So the only way to resolve this is to communicate clearly with a partner about their goals in the future and what bothers them to take any particular step ahead in life. Without understanding this fact, it would b difficult to solve any conflict in life.
Have Realistic Expectations About Relationships and Romance
Each day we wake up and decide to love our partner and our life—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Some days it’s a struggle, and some days, we feel like the luckiest. The key is to keep going no matter what hurdles stand because that’s how we grow closer to one another.
Instead of focusing on the negative, try to learn from each experience and use it to improve your next relationship. This starts with acknowledging how you’re feeling (both emotionally and physically), identifying what triggered these feelings, and then constructively working through them. Once you’ve identified problems or areas where you need more support, please don’t wait until they become overwhelming to discuss the topic with your partner. Simply saying something like “I’m feeling frustrated right now” can help open up a dialogue about resolving issues together rather than letting them fester unchecked.
Relationships and romance can be wonderful experiences, or they can be disastrously wrong. The key is realistic expectations about what relationships and love are likely to provide. Relationships are often full of ups and downs, so it’s important not to get too invested in them.
Often we put our emotions into perspective by thinking things like “he always does this” or “she never listens.” But instead of reacting negatively, try to see the situation from their point of view. If you’re constantly upset because your partner doesn’t do something you think they should, he may start avoiding behavior to protect themselves. This type of relationship becomes increasingly difficult for both parties as communication breaks down and resentment builds up over time.
It’s also important not To set unrealistic expectations when it comes to romantic interactions, such as wanting constant affection or sex (or vice versa). These behaviors might make one person feel trapped while the other feels hurt, leading again to negative consequences in the relationship.
Allowing yourself enough space allows you to appreciate your partner for who they truly are rather than who you want them to be.
Remember: Relationships take time and effort; patience is key. And if things start getting tough, remember that there’s always room for improvement – no matter how bad things may seem. Talk about what’s going on with someone you trust – maybe they can offer insight or advice on how to approach the situation better next time.
Example:
Expect your husband to hug you in the morning and while going office with one simple kiss, and after coming from the office – worship together Infront of God. Then before sleep, a hug and kiss are genuine. Watching a movie on your husband’s lap or vice versa during the weekend or watching any movie with good food is the best way to have a date night on weekends at home. A husband and wife’s relationship should not get old over the period or after having kids, and romance should be forever green. Always sex doesn’t signify a marriage relationship, a soft form of love is enough to keep the relationship intact better. These are realistic forms of love that you can expect from your spouse. Such a soft romance can keep your relationship alive. Whereas always understand such a relationship never comes from one side. It should b from both sides, then only it is successful. If you are expecting to dance with a slow music and have wine with a good movie with food, then your husband is like fully drunk, then start abusing, then change the channel to a cricket match, your all mood is spoiled, and your indoor date plan will turn into ash. So understand your husband and spouse’s mood before you keep your expectations. Always remember that any relationship is like sailing a boat. You don’t need to put in more effort when the situation is in your favor. When the situation is unfavorable, you give your 100% effort, and there is a chance you may reach the seashore or you may die in the water.
So the best way to handle any relationship is to find a person as per your mindset, or else it will create a roller-coaster regarding love and romance.
Most Important Factor in a Relationship Is Respect
Respect is the most important factor in a relationship; if you lack respect for your partner, it will be difficult to have a healthy and positive relationship. This doesn’t mean that you need to agree with everything your partner says or does, but simply treat them with kindness and respect.
Respect starts by treating others as they would want to be treated. This means being understanding and merciful when they are upset or frustrated, offering a listening ear instead of an advice-giving attitude, etc.
Next, show appreciation for what your partner does for you – whether taking care of the house while you’re out of town on business or cooking dinner every night because he knows you’re busy. Recognize all your partner’s sacrifices to maintain a healthy relationship – including communicating honestly and openly from early on so there aren’t any surprises down the road.
Respect is the key aspect of a relationship, and it should be nurtured and maintained from both ends. When you respect your partner, it means you respect your partner’s life choices and even value them, their job, their family, and their belongings. When there is love, respect comes automatically, and you don’t need to beg for it. This not only keeps your bond strong but also sustains life long.
Example :
Always remember, superficial respect never works for long. Your husband always tells you he respects your work and dedication to the family, whereas on the other side bitching about you in front of others how he makes you feel shameless even though he never feels bad about discussing the private conversation that happened between you two. It’s ok to confront your wife and husband with any bitter truth about them than bitching about them in front of parents or relatives, and friends.
Always remember respect comes with—trust, patience, and perseverance. Mutual respect means we feel safe sharing our deepest, most intimate selves.
Disrespecting your wife means disrespecting yourself, too, as she is your wife and a part of your life:
- Never talk shit about your wife in front of your friends, no matter how close they are. Talking bad about your partner to others will erode your respect for them and make you feel worse about the relationship, not better.
- Respect your partner and spend your time. Just because you would spend your time and energy differently doesn’t mean yours is better and there is worse.
Last but not least: make sure that both of You are happy! If either one feels like their needs aren’t being met within the confines of this Respect formula, things will most likely start deteriorating fast – no matter how much love still exists between You two.
Ultimately, if both partners show respect towards each other consistently throughout their relationships – positive or negative – then chances are good that they will continue to thrive together over time.
Talk Openly About Everything
Emotional resistance can be a major roadblock when working through difficult feelings. It’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts and keep them hidden, but doing this only leads to more pain and suffering. The best way to deal with emotions is by talking about them openly. This doesn’t mean that you have to give everything away, but it does mean that you need to be willing to let go of the fear of being judged or rejected. Opening up allows for healing and growth, which is why it’s so important to talk about these things privately and publicly.
If one person knows a secret and doesn’t tell the other person, they are splitting up that relationship into two halves- each half has its own set of secrets. This is difficult to deal with and can lead to resentment and frustration on both sides.
If you want your relationship to last, all secrets must be shared between the couples involved from the very beginning. This way, there will be fewer arguments about who knows what, and everyone will be able to trust each other implicitly. Of course, this can be challenging – especially if one of the parties feels as though they’re being continually left out or betrayed – but if handled correctly, Secrets can help build stronger relationships over time.
In a relationship, there should not be any secret; where it is secret, it means the relationship will break sooner or later.
Example :
There is a big RED flag , when your husband or wife never let you see their phone and don’t share their expenses. I still remember I have three bank accounts, one salaries account – my husband is my nominee with the real name even in my PF account, 1 is a joint account with my husband’s name, and one is for all transactions. I always share all my transaction details yearly wise with my husband. At least he should be aware of how much I am earning and where I am spending, so there should be no misunderstanding. Even I share my financial planning for now and the future too; not only that, if I get any info or get any new project, I inform my husband first as he is the person who will allow me to work late at night.
When I got married, my husband was earning only ₹ 800,000 then. In the last five years now, his salary has increased to ₹ 1,600000. Still, I always pay my bill and do my duty. I trust him that the money is for both of us. Later, I realized I was making a mistake when he started hiding his mobile phone, daily expenses, and how much he was earning as a bonus / Sales Commission. He even started having problems with my earnings and the late working hours, even though he started questioning me on my earnings and asked me to share my expenses.
In a relationship, a red flag can come at any point in time, I can say – it varies from person to person. Some try to be loyal to their wife, and some try to have extra marital affair behind their back, whoever knows what happens. Whatever may b the reason, a loyal wife who trusted you for a long year and gave up her career now her life at stake.
Always remember, you can forgive your husband and wife for extra marital affair, but if they leaves you for that reason, things can’t b forgivable. Trust is like a China plate—if you drop it and it breaks, once it breaks, no matter how much you try, you can’t get back its originality.
A relationship based on constant and mutual sacrifices can’t be sustained
If both individuals in a relationship feel that they are making substantial sacrifices without any return, then it might be time for them to go their separate ways. Constant apologies and explanations will not solve anything; they will only worsen things. On the other hand, if one partner feels like they aren’t getting enough back from the other in terms of love or support, then breaking off contact may be the best solution for both parties involved.
Each party in a relationship (both members) needs to communicate openly so that all potential problems can be identified early on before they escalate out of control. And most importantly – always remember that relationships require give and taking.
A healthy and happy relationship requires two people to be comfortable with themselves and their individualities. This means that each person should be able to live on their terms without feeling afraid or ashamed of who they are. They also need to have things that interest them to engage in different activities without getting bored.
It’s important for both individuals in a relationship to understand and accept these differences and appreciate the qualities found in the other person. If one partner isn’t content with how things are going, it can cause tension and eventually lead to the end of the relationship. So, ensure you’re receptive when everything is going great and during challenging times.
Submitted to the other person instead of themselves. Trying to “fix” or “control” your partner to make them happy eventually backfires because it allows their identities (including thoughts, feelings, and desires) to be submitted to the other person instead of themselves. This often leads to resentment on both sides as each party feels they are not allowed to express themselves freely and honestly. This often leads to increased dissatisfaction and unhappiness for both parties involved. Instead, what is needed is mutual understanding and respect for one another’s needs, feelings, and intentions. Only then can real communication take place in order not only to satisfy but improve upon the relationships we have with others.
For example:
A wife can give up her career for the sake of her family. But what returns she gets, even after sacrificing a lot, if she needs to face the difficulties and no love life, then there is no point in sacrifice. Sacrifice should be from both ends, not b from one side. When sacrifice is from one side, it seems exploitation to someone and takes someone’s bad life as an advantage.
Give Each Other Space
Creating space and separation from a partner can be one of the most regular things people who get in touch say. It’s important to remember that not all disagreements or conflicts will lead to an argument or breakup. Arguments and disagreements may sometimes need time and space away from each other for both parties to calm down and bear their bearings again. This can often be best done by taking a step back, communicating openly, and trying different communication techniques until one becomes more effective. If the disagreement or conflict continues after attempts at resolving it has failed, it might be necessary to seek professional help.
Some people are afraid to give their partner freedom and independence. This comes from a lack of trust and insecurity that if we give our partner too much space, they will discover they don’t want us in their life anymore. The fear is unfounded as partners with more autonomy often report feeling closer together because they can lean on each other when needed. Studies show that couples who spend more time apart experience less relationship satisfaction than those who spend equal amounts of time together but restrict one another’s freedoms. Instead of fearing or resisting giving your partner freedom, work towards finding compromise solutions so both you and your partner can thrive in this new arrangement. For example, allow your spouse some latitude during dates, nights, or weekends away, but make sure you communicate exactly what expectations you have for these times so there are no surprises later on down the road.
If you love your partner enough, you will allow them to be themselves without interference. This includes letting them hang out with who they want and what they want to do. You don’t own them or control how they feel—accept them for who they are and support their choices.
For example :
I always allow my husband to do whatever he likes, like he can have his friend circle, can spend his time playing cricket or cycling, etc. I always believe I have no right to interfere in someone’s private life and space, no matter who that person is. When it comes to coming in late at night and not talking with you and always over the phone, it makes you suspicious about your husband’s behavior. So giving space doesn’t mean someone should take advantage of it. Always remember this RED flag in any relationship.
Support – Grow and Change in Unexpected Ways
Overall, couples survived because their respect for each other allowed them to adapt and allow each person to continue to flourish. While some changes were more difficult than others, both partners ultimately found ways to grow and change in unexpected ways that made the relationship stronger. Each partner was able to learn from their experiences while still respecting the unique strengths of the other person. This respect ensured that disagreements could be resolved peacefully without resentment or blame, even when disagreements arose.
You don’t know who you’re committing to when you commit to someone. You know who they are today, but you have no idea who this person will be in five or ten years. You have to be willing and prepared for that possibility.
You can never control how someone will change or affect your life in the future, so it’s important to avoid getting too attached or vested in them early on because there’s a good chance things will turn out differently than planned.
For Example :
My husband knows me very well, how I spend my weekends watching series or painting or writing my own. Even I have a different personality side too, social work, and meditation, are where I am more inclined. I always share my plans with my husband, even though our mindset varies, as he is a kind of sports person, and he spends his time with his friends and roaming around. At the same time, I love to stay indoors and do my activities. I never bound him to change his extrovert personality, and he is now successful in his career even though we both have the same education, like B-Tech and MBA. He studied in a good MBA college, whereas I studied in a not much well-known college. We both have the same marks distinction in all careers from 10th to MBA, I ruined my 12th, but he has distinction. I am introvert. Therefore, my corporate experience is not so up to the mark even if I have good education, and for his extrovert personality, he is earning well and have a stable career.
I always respect that. But it doesn’t mean one should be submissive towards others’ achievements. I have a different life plan, which I shared with him. I never had any interest in the job. Instead, I love to spend time on social work and start my venture. Whether he believes that or not, however he never opposes me until it comes to spending money. But yes, he put me in such a situation where I don’t have time to invest in my dream, whereas I support him in how much I can to achieve his dreams either it comes to LinkedIn update or making his resume. As a life partner, you both should help each other to fulfill each other’s dreams. This is called real-life accomplishment, and life is not about eating, working, sleeping, and repeating. Everyone has a dream. Could you support them? If you can’t support them, don’t behave like an obstacle to their dream. You never know what that person can become after five or ten years down the line. So trust and support in a relationship can make the relationship strong.
Have a Healthy Fighting
Suppose you’re looking for a beneficial and fulfilling relationship, one in which both parties can grow and improve together. In that case, you may be craving something that has yet to be available. Relationships require effort and sacrifice on both sides, but it is worth it to find the right person.
When it comes to finding the right partner, there are many things to consider. First, be honest about what kind of person you would like to date or marry. Are they someone who always puts themselves first? Do they have strong convictions? Do their values align with your own? Make sure that this candidate is compatible before moving forward. Once you’ve found a potential match, take some time to assess whether this relationship is good for both of your needs.
Relationships are a crucial part of our lives, and as such, they deserve the utmost care and attention. When things get heated in a relationship, misunderstandings tend to happen more frequently. However, restoring harmony between partners can be accomplished through healthy fighting techniques. For example, if one person is assertive but polite while expressing their disagreement politely and respectfully, this will often result in an agreeable resolution. Furthermore, taking time to calm down after a fight can help both parties restore their equilibrium so that future disagreements don’t spiral out of control quickly.
Additionally, arguments can clarify our thinking and reaffirm our values – two things that are essential for maintaining harmony in relationships.
The unhealthy fight which leads to divorce:
- Criticize your partner’s job or character or use filthy language
- Putting down your partner and making them feel inferior in front of others
- Ignoring your partner
- Make them feel useless for your relationship from a contribution point of view
- Compare with others and make them feel down all the time
It cannot be easy to recognize red flags in a relationship, but it is important if you want to stay safe. To avoid getting hurt, it’s important to have radar for potential warning signs and take action accordingly. Some of the most common red flags include financial wrongness or emotional manipulation. If something feels off, don’t hesitate to speak up! You may needn’t look further than your intuition when making this decision – trust your gut.
By listening carefully and being open-minded, you can identify potential issues before they become too serious or irreparable. Additionally, by discussing these concerns candidly with your spouse, you can resolve them together instead of fighting endlessly. If problems cannot be resolved within the couple, seeking outside help may be necessary.
Be Good At Forgiveness
Sometimes the right thing to do is to shut up and listen. When you’re right, your partner probably already knows it and might not want to hear it again—in fact, they may even be grateful that you chose silence instead of arguing. This type of reaction shows that you care about them and are listening carefully so that you can provide help or support in the best way possible. Plus, when your partner feels appreciated and loved, their heart will be lighter no matter what else is going on.
If you have two individuals sharing a life, they will inevitably clash over some things and value different things. The key here is not to change the other person—as the desire to change your partner is inherently disrespectful—but rather accept their differences and love them despite them.
When my husband and I disagree on something, we don’t compromise. We try to understand where each other is coming from to find a way to compromise without losing too much of our identities. These are the wrong goals because they’re outcome-based rather than process-based. When your goal is to find out where your partner is coming from—to understand on a deep level truly—you can’t help but be altered by the process. Conflict becomes much easier to navigate because you see the context.
Be Practical, and Create Relationship Rules
Creating relationship rules is a crucial part of any successful marriage. It can help keep the peace and manage small and large disagreements. Here are some tips for creating effective rules:
- Be specific about what you want your relationship to be like. Write exactly how you expect each other to behave in various situations, from major life events to daily interactions. This will ensure that expectations are clear from the beginning and there are no surprises later on.
- The draft rules in advance so that disputes don’t arise over trivial matters or unimportant issues late into the game.
(Kindly take examples as an example, which narrate to give you a clear picture of the paragraph and show as a realistic point of view)