It is always important to remember that our wife is our other half – the person we rely on most in life. A husband-and-wife relationship is not like an outsider-type relationship, where one person dominates the other. Instead, it is more of a partnership where both parties have equal shares in decision-making and responsibilities. This differs from a live-in relationship type, typically characterized by complete dependence on one party for daily sustenance or basic needs. Both spouses need to understand their marriage relationship and cater to their behavior accordingly to build a strong foundation for their marriage.
Let’s understand what we should not do as a husband:
Treat her like your better half, not as a classy servant
A husband must understand that their wife is not a servant or caretaker for the family. All husbands should remember this, as it’s crucial to have a harmonious relationship with one’s better half. When wives become caregivers or servants to their families due to personal stressors at work or outside forces, they often lose sight of who they are and what their role in the family should be. This can lead to resentment on both sides and disharmony within the home.
In fact, as the better half of the relationship, it is up to wives to take on more responsibility to contribute to the family’s overall well-being. This includes taking on responsibilities such as parenting, cooking, caring for elders, and tending to home repairs/maintenance.
Wives should also be involved in decision-making related to major life decisions like Education to when to have kids since they know best how these will affect their families. Husbands should encourage this involvement by providing support and guidance when needed.
For example:
She is your wife, it’s her duty to take care of you and your parents, but it’s not her duty to take care of everyone in your family for the sake of the relationship. In such a scenario, you should understand how much she can do.
Drink and abuse your wife emotionally or physically
Abusing your wife emotionally means communicating poorly with her, ridiculing her, or insulting her. You must be aware of your behaviors and how they might affect your wife. If you drink excessively or engage in other harmful activities while intoxicated, this could result in emotional abuse. Likewise, if she perceives you physically mistreating her due to intoxication, she may feel unsafe and insecure. In both cases, the relationship quality will likely decline over time.
Drinking should not be a mode to tell the truth, or express your anger. If you show your frustration after drinking, you hate and disrespect her. You can share your disagreement without drinking alcohol too.
For example:
Your wife purchase fitness product, and after drinking alcohol, you start abusing her; why she spends money on Ketto or Amway? You can refuse or help her with a fitness plan without purchasing these products. You can help her to stay fit from morning walk to evening walk. You can give her company. If she has no other option and has taken a few steps out of her control, as a husband, you should understand her concern and help her out rather than abusing her after drinking alcohol.
Don’t just Listen to your wife, respect her decisions too
For your marriage to be successful, you must involve your wife in all decision-making processes. Each party can have a shared perspective on the issue, and disagreements can be resolved respectfully. Additionally, it is important not to listen only to your wife’s point of view; instead, you should make decisions based on what you believe is best overall for the family. That said, taking her into account will help ensure that all her concerns are considered during the process.
For example:
If you want to purchase anything, discuss it with your wife, who handles the home. It should not be like, you just informed her and then doing things on your own. In such cases, the adjustment seems difficult.
Show sympathy when she feels down
When your wife cries, it can be tough to handle. However, showing her sympathy and understanding is the best way to help her heal from the pain. Instead of avoiding or running away from her pain, try spending time with her and comforting her as she grieves. Showing sympathy by being there for her and providing comfort can help reduce her stress levels and make dealing with the pain more comfortable. Additionally, it can be helpful to offer words of comfort instead of sarcasm or anger.
It can also build trust between you two, which may lead to better communication in the future. It’s often difficult to deal with painful emotions on our own, so try not to bottle them up inside or avoid your wife altogether; instead, let her know that you’re here for her no matter how tough things might seem.
Couples must learn how to express emotions honestly and respectfully so that each party can feel understood and cared for. To start, try discussing sensitive topics like childbirth or relationship problems openly without judgment or criticism towards the other person. Additionally, offer compassionate listening whenever your partner needs comfort from their feelings.
For example:
If your wife is crying for a certain reason or after fighting with you, don’t call your parents to console her, or don’t just go outside to avoid her pain. Such things make the situation worse. Instead, she needs your consolation words and care, and a simple, genuine hug can solve any problem. If you return after she becomes strong, you let her become strong alone. After a certain point, she doesn’t bother to share her pain and feeling with you as you don’t care.
Keep all her responsibilities on your parents
After marriage, the husband’s responsibility is to take care of his wife, just as before getting married. This means that he should ensure she is well-fed, has enough sleep and shelter, and is never left alone in case something happens. It also means that if she needs him for anything – whether during her illness or when she needs someone to talk to – he should immediately step up and help.
However, this only sometimes works out perfectly in practice. For example, if the wife falls sick or needs assistance when her husband is busy at work, she may hesitate to ask her parents for help because it would feel like he was neglecting his responsibilities as a husband.
In situations where one partner feels unprepared or burdened to take care of their spouse due to personal issues, exploring alternative forms of support may be helpful.
Typically, wives are more vocal about needing their husbands’ assistance than the other way around because they know that taking care of them is a duty and privilege that comes with being married. As such, wives often appreciate their husbands more when needed rather than relying on others entirely.
For example:
When your wife is pregnant, it’s not your parents or her parents who should take care of her as the medical expenses are high and handling her emotion is tough. As a husband, it’s your responsibility is to handle her as you will live with her for your whole life. Don’t tell your parents to take care of her when she is pregnant, as it is tough for you.
Cook food for your wife is love, not insulting your superiority
Typically, after marriage, it’s usually the husband’s responsibility to cook food for his wife when she is suffering from a fever or cuts her finger, or is pregnant. This may be because he assumes most of the domestic duties within a household and feels that cooking would be an appropriate task in this context. Alternatively, it may be based on social norms or cultural expectations that dictate men should take care of women during times of need.
For example:
Your wife cooks every day if she has a bad day and cannot cook in bad health, like if she cuts her finger or is burnt out from stress. Understand her, don’t ever make her feel so bad, she’ll forget that she is suffering from something. You may not be the reason behind her burnt or cut finger, but showing sympathy can improve the relationship.
Please don’t blame her for everything for self-stressed out
Blaming your wife for every issue happening within the family and outside is not a good idea. She can do what she can, but it’s unfair to put all the pressure on her as multiple factors contribute to such problems. Blaming her will only make matters worse and may even lead to tension between you two. This may cause tension and eventually lead to divorce. Furthermore, it can also create resentment among family members towards your wife, which could ultimately negatively affect their mental health. Trusting that she can handle her issues without needing you constantly hovering over her shoulder is important. Instead of taking everything out on her, try communicating with her about the issue so that she can understand what is happening and help resolve it asap.
Take her as a caretaker for your family
It is always important to consult with your wife about any decisions that need to be made regarding the whole family.
Some people might feel that their wife should always take care of the whole family’s responsibilities, like she is a caretaker for them, their parents, and their brother and sister-in-law. However, others may believe that wives should only be responsible for caring for themselves and the children within the family unit. It’s important to discuss your feelings with your wife before making any decisions regarding Whole Family Responsibility training or arrangements.
It is also important for both husband and wife to understand their respective roles in the family so that everyone can feel comfortable and respected. For example, suppose your wife typically takes care of household chores while you take on more responsibilities outside the home (like working). In that case, she needs to know that she is still a part of your family and should not feel neglected or excluded. Likewise, if you are the primary breadwinner in your household and neglect tasks like cooking or cleaning up after yourself, then allowing your wife to take on some domestic duties may be easier for you overall. It’s also helpful if both parties communicate openly about these changes, so there are never any misunderstandings or tension within the family unit.
In some cases where one member of the couple cannot do these tasks due to illness or a busy work schedule, it may be necessary for the other spouse to step in and take on those responsibilities temporarily until their loved one recovers. However, it is ultimately up to each spouse to decide how much responsibility they feel comfortable taking on within this context.
Don’t neglect her health
When your wife says she is not feeling well or has any disease like it’s an ordinary one, and when she asks you to help her to buy certain things except food or open a bank account, help her as soon as possible. Believe in her that everything will be alright. The sooner you start, the better it will be for both of you. If you notice anything out of the ordinary with your wife’s health, consult with an expert to avoid further complicating matters. She should not wait a month for a simple cure, which hurts her daily. She may seem healthy until she repeatedly complains to you about her health; such behavior shows a detachment from your wife and least bother about your wife’s health.
Putting your wife’s image down to save yourself
The biggest threat to any marriage relationship is when one spouse puts their wife or husband’s image down in front of their parents or family members. This can lead to feelings of insecurity, anger, and resentment. If you notice that this behavior is becoming an issue in your marriage, then it might be best to discuss the situation with your spouse before things get out of hand.
Discussing the problem with your partner may be helpful if you feel this way. Let them know how much you care about them and want to ensure that they always feel positive towards you. Additionally, try not to put unnecessary pressure on either of you – treating each other fairly and respectfully will go a long way.
For example:
Scold your wife for food to how she speaks to you in front of your parents, and make your parents fell angry on her too. In such a scenario, she can’t understand whom she should handle first, either her husband or her parents-in-law, when everyone is against her for a silly matter.
Spend the weekend with her, not just present for 3 hours out of 24 hours
Newly married couples should spend their weekends with each other, not with their friends. This includes spending time talking or staying together. Spending your weekend away from your wife is not only neglectful but can also be frustrating and lead to conflict down the road. By spending more time with her, you will reap numerous benefits, such as improved communication and a stronger relationship.
Spending your weekend with your spouse should be a priority, not just because it’s been designated as “spending time together.” Spending quality time with the person you love is one of the best ways to recharge and rejuvenate. Additionally, being around your friends can be beneficial in some cases- for example, if they are people who encourage conversation or interaction. However, when it comes to new couples, spending time alone together can also help cement relationships. This can be challenging since many of us grew up surrounded by other family members and friends. But over time – through patience and understanding – building those ties with our partner may become easier than we think.
For example:
After being newly married, a wife feels lonely at home without her husband’s presence. If you spend time in someone else’s house or with your office colleagues then what’s the point of getting married. Weekends don’t mean it’s for getting vegetables and then vanishing for the whole day with friends. After marriage, a bachelor’s life ends, and a new life starts.
Fulfill your wife’s basic expectations
Waiting for bearing a child is not unreasonable, if you are ready to commit yourself to the process and have realistic expectations.
Waiting three years for a bearing a child or having a stable family can be seen as exploitation on the part of the spouse who is requesting these things because they are not meeting their own needs during this time. On the other hand, waiting too long could lead to infertility or another problem down the line due to stress or lack of communication.
Having a stable family situation does not mean that your wife should always be able to dictate what she wants in life or that she should be able to demand anything from you without consequence. Instead, you need to understand each other’s needs and desires to build an equitable relationship where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Blaming your wife for your arranged marriage is never going to solve anything. Yes, it may feel like a convenient way to rationalize what’s happening, but ultimately it only causes more pain and resentment. It’s important to understand that she is not at fault – nobody is responsible for an arranged marriage going wrong. Instead of always looking towards her as the source of all your problems, start working on healing the Relationship Conflicting you are experiencing. This can be done by seeking counseling or therapy together if necessary and communicating honestly and openly about your feelings. If both parties are willing to do this, there is a greater chance of resolving any conflictual issues in their relationship.
(Kindly take examples as an example, which narrate to give you a clear picture of the paragraph and show as a realistic point of view)